Am I An Elder Brother? Part 2

I was serving as Director of Music at a large church in the Philadelphia area when the Jim and Tammy Faye Baker fiasco broke. I walked into choir rehearsal and two of the men in the choir were ranting and raving about how the Bakers were such deceivers and should be totally ostracized for their behavior. The one man went on to same some pretty horrible things about the Bakers and then said, “You’d never catch me doing something that stupid!”

I can remember this as if it was yesterday. I made the statement — “Be very careful about statements like that because there go I but by the grace of God.” Within six months, this man’s whole world came crashing down.

Elder brothers tend to look down their noses at the prodigals. With our smugness and self-righteous pride, we declare, “How could you be so stupid?” I am have a clean track record and have never been caught doing something that dumb!” Really? Maybe not outwardly — but how about inwardly? Are you like the little child who was asked to sit down by his parents. He did, but thought in his mind, “I am sitting down on the outside, but I am standing up on the inside.”

Pastor Tim Keller, in his book THE PRODIGAL GOD, shares several more insights to help us diagnose if we are suffering from “EBS” — Elder Brother syndrome:

* Elder brothers are fastidious in their compliance to ethical norms, and in fulfillment of all traditional family, community, and civic responsibilities. But it is a slavish, joyless drudgery. The word “slave” has strong overtones of being forced or pushed rather than drawn or attracted. A slave works out of fear — fear of consequences imposed by force.

*Elder brother obedience only leads to a slavish begrudging compliance to the letter of the law.

*Elder brothers are being moral only for their own benefit. They may be kind to others and helpful to the poor, but at a deeper level they are doing it either so God will bless them, in the religious version of elder brotherness, or so they can think of themselves as virtuous, charitable persons, in the secular version of it.

*Elder brothers may do good to others, but not out of delight in the deeds themselves or for the love of people or the pleasure of God. They are not really feeding the hungry and clothing the poor, they are feeding and clothing themselves. The heart’s fundamental self-centeredness is not only kept intact but nurtured by fear-based moralism.

Elder brothers are under great pressure to appear, even to themselves, happy and content. This is the reason that sometimes highly moral elder brothers will blow up their lives and, to the shock of all who know them, throw off the chains of their obligations and begin living like younger brothers.

*Elder brothers may be disciplined in observing regular times of prayer, but their prayers are almost wholly taken up with a recitation of needs and petitions, not spontaneous, joyful praise.

*Elder brothers don’t go to God and beg for healing from their condition. They see nothing wrong with their condition. and that can be fatal. If you know you are sick you may go to the doctor; if you don’t know you’re sick — you won’t — you’ll just die.

*If you came to Christ out of being a younger brother, there is always the danger of partially relapsing into addictions or other younger brother sins. But if you’ve become a Christian out of being and elder brother, you can even more easily slide back into elder-brother attitudes and spiritual deadness. If you have not grasped the gospel fully and deeply, you will return to being condescending, condemning, anxious, insecure, joyless, and angry all the time.

And finally, Elder brothers have an undercurrent of anger toward life circumstances, hold grudges long and bitterly, look down at people of other races, religions, and lifestyles, experience life as a joyless, crushing drudgery, have little intimacy and joy in their prayer lives, a deep insecurity that makes them sensitive to criticism and rejection yet fierce and merciless in condemning others.

So I ask you — are you suffering from EBS? If so, it’s time to repent and come home. The Father is on tippy-toes looking for you to come home. And wow does He have the feast prepared for YOU! — Bill Welte is President and CEO of America’s KESWICK

God’s WORD for YOU: Proverbs 11; Leviticus 11-12; Matthew 26:1-25

Great Quote: One good man, one man who does not put on his religion once a week with his Sunday coat, but wears it for his working dress, and lets the thought of God grow into him, and through and through him, till everything he says and does becomes religious, that man is worth a thousand sermons — he is a living Gospel — he comes in the spirit and power of Elias — he is the image of God. And men see his good works,and admire them in spite of themselves, and see that they are God-like,and that God’s grace is no dream, but that the Holy Spirit is still among men, and that all nobleness and manliness is His gift, His stamp,His picture: and so they get a glimpse of God again in His saints and heroes, and glorify their Father who is in heaven. Charles Kingsley

Am I an Elder Brother?

“The older brother became angry and refused to go in …” Luke 15:28.

Yesterday at the Colony Chapel, Pastor John Hibbard shared a message on the two lost sons. Most of us know the story as the parable of the prodigal son. Most messages focus on the son that took his portion of his inheritance, squandered and wasted it, ended up in the pigsty, but then repented and returned home.

But there are some pretty powerful lessons to be learned from the other son who was lost — the elder brother. He had it all together! In fact, he did all the right things … well at least externally. The first son’s sins were obvious — the elder brother’s sins were not so obvious, but every bit as real.

This weekend I read Dr. Tim Keller’s book, THE PRODIGAL GOD — Recovering The Heart of the Christian Faith. In this powerful read, he suggests several observations about the elder brother that I believe are worth noting:

1. The first sign that YOU might have an elder brother spirit is that when YOUR life doesn’t go as YOU want, you aren’t just sorrowful, but deeply angry and bitter. I have often said that bitterness is like poison — it will kill you. I have a dear friend that has allowed their life to be consumed with bitterness that goes back some 40+ years ago. They would like you to think that their life bleeds Jesus. Not so — touch this person and the puss and poison come spewing out.

2. The elder brother’s inability to handle suffering arises from the fact that their moral OBSERVANCE is results-oriented. The good life is not for delight in good deeds themselves, but calculated as ways to control their environment.

3. Elder brothers expect their goodness to pay off, and if it doesn’t, there is confusion and anger. If you think goodness and decency is the way to merit a good life from God, you will be eaten up with anger, since life never goes as we wish. The elder brother will always FEEL that they are owed more then they are getting.

4. Elder brothers have a strong sense of their own superiority.

5. Elder brothers base their self-images on being hardworking, or moral, or members of an elite clan, or extremely smart and savvy. This inevitably leads to feeling superior to those who don’t have those same qualities. Competitive comparison is the main way elder brothers achieve their sense of their our significance.

6. Elder brother self-righteousness not only creates racism and classism, but at the personal level creates an unforgiving, judgmental spirit.

7. Elder brothers’ sin and antipathy to God is hidden deep beneath layers of self-control and moral behavior, they have no trouble feeling superior to just about anyone. If they see people who lie, cheat on their wives, or don’t pray to God — they look down on them. If such people wrong THEM, elder brothers feel their spotless record gives them the right to be highly offended and to perpetually remind the wrongdoer of his or her failure.

I’ll share more of Tim’s insights tomorrow. But the question I am asking myself — do I have an elder brother spirit in any area of my life? If so, I need to repent, go back to the Cross and do business with the Lord. — Bill Welte is President and CEO of America’s KESWICK

God’s WORD for YOU: Proverbs 10; Leviticus 8-10; Matthew 25:31-46

Great Quote: The complaint that church is boring is never made by people in awe. R. C. Sproul