Last week, I shared the first installment of a great article published on Crosswalk.com by author/speaker, Donna Jones.
If you missed it, go back and check it out. Here are the next several signs:
- Your child speaks or acts disrespectfully to authority figures.
Bad attitudes often show up in unhealthy behaviors toward those in authority (think parents, teachers, and coaches). It can present aggressively, through verbal confrontations or ongoing conflict. More subtly, it can show up passively: A child ignores instructions or uses a disrespectful tone of voice.
If you notice any of these behaviors, it’s important to correct your child’s perception of authority—beginning with how he or she relates to you. Parents do their kids no favors when they criticize authority figures (like the other parent), give instructions they allow their kids to ignore, or permit their child to speak disrespectfully.
When our kids were tweens, they would sometimes speak in a tone my southern grandmother called “sassy.” It’s tempting to punish this type of behavior, (and sometimes, it’s needed) but often, a more effective approach is the “do-over.” Do-overs allow parents to teach a child right behavior rather than merely disciplining wrong behavior. When my kids gave me the “sassy tone,” I calmly told them to speak to me again, with a respectful tone of voice (Full disclosure: some days they had to repeat themselves a dozen times). Did it drive them crazy? Yep. What parental correction doesn’t drive a 13-year-old crazy? But it also developed a respectful attitude toward authority.
- Your child gives up in the face of adversity.
Let’s be honest: It’s just plain hard to be the one who doesn’t get invited, doesn’t make the team, or can’t succeed no matter how hard she tries. Miserable events produce messy emotions. Count on it, and show grace in the midst of it. But if your child can’t bounce back after grieving the loss, you may have an attitude issue on your hands.
When our youngest didn’t make the soccer team, she was stunned—the disappointment stung deep. I wanted desperately to make the pain go away. The sounds of her sobs behind her bedroom door nearly broke my heart. After a day or two moping around the house, she surprised us with an announcement that she was turning her attention to cheerleading instead of soccer. Her sadness over the closed chapter morphed into anticipation of a new one. Resilience was born.
If your child hasn’t yet developed the ability to bounce back, you can help. Here’s how: Allow a period of grief. Help your child ask, “What’s next?” Show them that a new chapter doesn’t begin unless an old chapter ends. If necessary, get your child the help she needs to do better the next time around. Attitudes shift when we teach our child to get up rather than give up.
Guys, I want you to know that even after you’ve finished raising your kids, and if you have grandkids, you are not off the hook. I have 11 grandkids, so this article is very helpful. Have a great week.
Rejoice! Pray! Give thanks!
Bill Welte D.D.
President/CEO of America’s Keswick
Written by Dr. Bill Welte, President/CEO of America’s Keswick: Bill has been married to his child sweetheart for 40+ years, and has three married kids, one that is engaged, and 11 amazing grand kids. He loves music and is an avid reader.
Think About This: “Worry is watered down fear.” – Pastor Chris Thompson
This Week’s Verse to Memorize:
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7